Advent

I can’t even remember what my face should look like…..I don’t know who im looking at in the mirror. who is this supposed to be, who is this trying to be, who is this trying to fool. I see right through me, but then I can’t see whats underneath. ghost hand print on the foggy glass just disappearing with the meaning whenever times past. a singular confusion, unrecognisable but I reprise the role, lying in wait like a lightning bolt. charged emotions are the obstacle, symptomatic, systematic on overload. I’m afraid of the title, waving on if I don’t know, non descriptive verses of what life should be, what it’s going to be. I forever cast a shadow on my own dreams, persecuting myself for an opening, freedom times closing, equals. whatever teachers taught me, this thing called envy blocks me. I scarcely remember promptly, these things that still yet haunt me, a hazy nightmare marks me, a messy paint stroke taunts me. profound excuse ment to subvert the truth is faded, my mind is so antiquated. I’m a generation behind, I refuse to change so they call me blind, now I’ve just been, vilified. in the public eye I fail to try, too love is to lie, to say is to die. a martyr dies and is remembered for what they believe in, all I remember is plots of who’s getting even. everyone dies but just once, it’s up to you if death comes first. applying to be more than just a phantom, a figment of mass distraction. dystopian is gaining traction, in a world where bad things happen. when we don’t believe in consequences for our actions, we fail to recognise what comes after. the more we separate ourselves from these factors, simply spells disaster. sickening to see if that is really me, behind those eye just hollow, a Dixie cup full of sorrow, line cut leading to nowhere or now here, lost in translation could never be so clear, tomorrow is not without fear……….cause you…are the monster…in the mirror.

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