Remember when I used to cry

remember when i used to cry, when i use to feel something other than this pain. my heart wakes to agony, the only promise I’ve ever kept. why do i torture myself so, do i really hate myself that much, how can i and not know it. but truly what have i done to deserve nothing?. remember when i used to cry, because i dreamed of something more, i would reach for the stars and forget to touch back down, the world forgot
me as i forgot it. i lost my place, nowhere to go , no one to turn to, a lonely traveler, destination, back to a past of a wiser path. forgotten letters of the alphabet icu, do you see me, im hurting without a witness.
standing in an autumn breeze, watching the leaves fall, such beauty, such grace, a purpose of a grander scale, outside our understanding, revolution to revelation, to stop now is always a temptation. eye of the storm the seekers swarm, to find the way, forward without a way back, no time to hear me say that. I’m screaming dont leave me im to scared to go, did they disappear or did i, dissolved in dissolution, can never find the solution. am i abandoned or the abandoning, typing up my eulogy, thinking what its supposed to be, about time thats in front of me, all the pages are ruined. to many water marks, bleed the words together, probably like my dads last letter, writen with a quill feather, dear miss displeasure……….forget me, im sorry, i mean i never ment, i tried my best to hurt me and succeed, i guess their is one thing time cant heal…..self inflicted wounds……i see them every day, a constant reminder…its
never going to be the same again, so suffocate, implode, never see the light of day, but when ask, lie
and say… im ok.
remember…

when i use to cry….

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