Welcome to my asylum

i feel it….i feel it inside me, waiting, watching, whispering sweet nothings behind these eyes. the indomitable terror of not knowing when this part of me will cease and this counterpart of my essence shrouded in entropy, will be all that remains.
i try with each fatal step to abait my deepest self, my true nature. but these fateful machinations are
fleeting, for the shadow swiftly approaches midinght. if time did exist so heavily, it would seek to hold me in place and lock me away to suffocate alone; and
that…..is my true fear.
this thing …a thing kept buried for so long, its hurt for so long, its festered. its become….a brokenness of such magnitude and yet their is no broken glass, no air to breathe, no atom left not utilized for one goal. to torture and
molest the very mind responsible, the very mind uniquely capable to hold itself so tightly. to kill itself so softly, to stop its heart from loving, from living….from goodness.
what does a heart become if unable to love, what vicious dreams manifest.
so when will i cease?….this notion hath made me so quiet as of late. Their will be no warning, no fight before the end, just a fading, a fading of hope, of peace, of requited love, replaced by pain and hatred.
it…is coming……..welcome to my asylum…..

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