Night Gazer

I sometimes gaze into the night and wonder…wonder what is their for me here. in this time, in this place.
I feel trapped by my unrequited existence, one with no end and paradoxically no beginning. I simply live
for the sake of just living, and I am tormented by this notion. i must exist because the alternative is
nonexistence…..oblivion……nothingness…silence. but what am I supposed to do; their is no god their is no hope their is no hidden truth. but even though I say these things I still keep searching for something,
something else, something different.. beyond nature. it eats away at my mind leading me down dark twisted paths to try to find this hidden knowledge. but the search for forbidden truth can always entice the rational and brilliant, because above all things, power is what we seek. a feeling of emptiness, dullness, and despair always lead one to find more from its surroundings. a nagging sensation of something just out of reach, or something left……unremembered, but what?. this is my plight, my eternal tragedy, a fight
for sanity in a world so satirically paradoxical its structure almost wanting corruption and insanity. but some how I preserver locked in this un-mortal coil, forever tasked by things I don’t believe in and yet can’t seem to forget. and therein lies the underpinning of my truth……….why can’t I forget….

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