28 July 21 19:00
Well it’s looking like things are well on there way, on coming to a close. Not long now before I’m off on leave and then going to my surgery, too be off on sick leave for a few more weeks. Then when I come back its release time for me, giving me the end to this Luke warm journey. It will be strange being out for the first little while, after the closing finally takes hold. To have no where to go back too, a seemingly endless sense of haunting freedom. To go from a place of restrictions, to an anything goes mantra, a laissez-faire stance on happenstanceical quandaries.
But I do know where I’m coming from, and the knowledge of it will keep me from yearning so vehemently against the grounded sensibilities of a common lifestyle. Most never yet realize just how much freedom really means. To be wholly clear and in my own mind again, I thought I need something more, but in the exploration of said more, these aspirations revealed themselves to be fallacious in nature, leading to this tormented droning existence I do now inhabit. To know for certain the path before all this, outside interference transpired, was more true and comfortable then this long drawn out corridor, to dark to see the edges, feeling more empty than hollow. All I have is my mind, all i see is a dream, and the end is near. So, Its almost that time, to step back….
…… into my quantum suicide