Inner Sanctum

I walk out into the plains of my mind, a desert with a purplish hue still unknown to me. Unknowable a wonderland of desolation, and yet so full of mystery. This intrigues me, a world so empty, so stark, its breadth a void of eternity. A vanishing point of forgotten memories, dreams, and thoughts, trapped within the web of all my fears. A mirage to keep me from seeing what’s near, a rift, a scar, a window into my “soul”. My heart of hearts, my mind of minds; or is it…….my inner sanctum.

  • Chapter 1

Verse 1

Fading in from darkness, I awoke into this world of mine; this purple tinted endless nightmare. why it looks this way I haven’t a clue, maybe everything links to my personality, why a desert…is it because the vast expansive landscape, brimming with possibilities and potential of what I could be or how much room there is to grow and yet so immutable, empty, lost, and daunting. Is it a perfect representation of my inner being? but why this taunting purple hue, it is described as being a rich shade between crimson and violet, also a color typically worn by roman emperors and later roman catholic bishops and since that time it has been commonly associated with royalty and piety. But how do I balance the equation, what do these two things combined to create with in the construct I see before me. Pious deception; therein lies the truth of it, ostensibly happy faced; awestruck I sublimate, rising to the sky my heart palpitates. No sun, no stars, just generated blackness like a pupil dilated from fear, but I can’t see through this, nothings near. I’m lost…wrapped in a cocoon of silence and shadow, shallow breath; time stops for but a moment between heartbeats. Paralyzed, asunder my mind is the wanderer, I begin to fall broken into pieces, helices. Like spirals without the sequel, then finally touchdown, earth quake without an equal. Amorphous, fragments scattered; as I slowly begin to realize……….I open up my eyes…

Verse 2

I lay here listening to my heart beat…boom boom…boom boom…boom boom; bombarded by sights and sounds, the world twists bliss less, confounded my mind is listless. Remissness, I stand in nirvana for an instance, immanence; the pain I feel, how duplicitous. Sense and sensibilia, my perceptions seem to be unfamiliar, chronologically dissimilar; my anti-alphabet dissimulator. Mnemonic, I take hold of the present, stepping back into precedent prescience, paradoxically abstaining to see, is that really me. Everything makes sense in the past tense, self-discovery; unbelieving of how much your unknown to one’s self. Eminent I thought I was, jaded crown I wear being the unmaster, my hearts been racing faster. Claustrophobia; nowhere to run nowhere to hide, I stand here at the unknown divide. Fragmented; piece of mind I study it, looking to the profligate; licentious and dissolute, ethical insanity, twisted terrors disturb the air. This black flame emanating from the ground, extrinsic; chaos incarnate, the impact must have caused it….what is this fissure of fire and brimstone. all I hear is a gramophone as a mono tone; record static makes my ears ring, as I stare wistfully, hopeless that’s the feeling, self-discovery……….what’s the meaning…?

Verse 3
If the universe tends towards chaos, no god in it to make us, corruption passes for innocence, predicating
malificent’s. Indifferent I stand stringent, this dark abyss menacing in time; contingent upon the fall,
bottomless pit I see you. Nighttime redeemer, they call me the perceiver, a purveyor and disbeliever.
Focusing on the singular, just like Icarus and Phaethon, misinterpretation; both end with self-destruction.
Reproached, hands in the fire “what do I desire”, cold to touch ire, non sequitur supplier. Elemental
circumvention, do I have your attention. Ghost faced; I noticed, something else lurking beneath the forest,
this is not just scratching the surface. I’ve awoken something inside me, it’s frightening such horror can
live behind these, eyes are meant for searching, slithering snake you are the urchin. Poison without a
warning, mind in morning, dawn of a new age, looking in the mirror theirs two. Stereograph after image,
indistinguishable perfect pretender, subtly dancing with the devil. A second part I failed to see, grifted by
my own foreshadowing, forbidden path to Zion, Hyperion; I look down, phantom path hysteria. I’m
floating, underwater drowning, self-loathing, non-understanding; desiderium. Delirium, fore gone
exoteric identity, ad arbitrium, esoteric to me and me alone. Broken thoughts from this dark enkindler, back to the beginning day dreamer, why is this in my minds ether. Reflecting now I see this menagerie is
really me, trying to escape and be free. But at what cost does one gain freedom, humanity in exchange for
solace, flawless. My mind is now uncovered, discovered something else beneath the surface, a face,
inverted purpose. Who am I really, a figment, a delusion, I have to stop this illusion. Behind these deviled
eyes lurks many sides, but most are lies, masquerade….masquerade my face is a mask, just a cast, which
door should I open. To words less spoken, blank slate I’m hoping, if I wear the mask any longer, maybe
this dream will turn nightmare ever after. Dark rift, take me to the source from whence you came……
the depths…of the sanctum…

Verse 4
On the edge, a precipice, bridge to nowhere analogous. Barophobic arbiter, last samurai unarmored, no
way back, salient pact the covenant of demonstrative, hell on earth prerogative. controversial, vexed, too
much to be a complex, grander minds than Socrates, Aristotle, Imhotep, a trifecta of human knowledge at
its finest, brought down by Aquinas. Not a fiction but a metaphor, gaining knowledge without the thought
form, book worms gnawing at the pages, throw back to the dark ages. Legacy of kain, enabling, warring
for warring’s sake can’t we give the heart a break, heart of darkness, humanities full of starkness. Broken
down to our center, were not some great defender, so cold, so slender, mankind’s the great pretender.
Sickness the denominator, above the line uncommon err, faceless man I saw you there. Vengeance is its
own reward, uncut umbilical cord, feeding my insanity, Genghis khan extended family, predator of my
humanity. This nightmare inside of me, paranoid advisory, it’s time to leave, blindly, forget this hope
entirely. reflecting on the precipice, I digress, my hand was in the flame, do I dare venture further, to see
my true face, to see what lies beneath, an endless chasm filled with my deepest emotion, thoughts,
dreams, desire, uninspired I pause, should I enter the fire, the doorway to oblivion, is that better, stale life;
the unliving. Desert opening, I’ll wait, the scar is growing, bloodied fate, withholding, the fall is coming,
controlling, inexplicably unknowing…….eternal fate…..foreboding…..

Verse 5
Dark regency, the king of the despair, how the world is so unfair. Beleaguered self-interest, broken down
wall, two faced delinquents. Festively divisive, alienating decisions, isolating position, my life feels like a
superstition. This is just another juxtaposition, face to face with another side of me, clawing its way up
from the bottom, the underpinning is no silver linning, or it was just bad timing. Pearls on fire see through
my ire, tame the beast called liar, for once I deconstruct, not mired in all the pain. Giving life to my
disdain, poison tongue, blood rain, decry my deepest name, pestilence the sickness, the lecherous defiled
witness, and batwing scaled “invictus”. Spider faced horrific-ness, my mind of minds personify,
dreamless; wistful from bated breath to taste the air. Putrefaction, the scent of dying not death, smells
sweet like a cherry blossom, have I become forgotten, exigent I stumble, new beginnings I mumble.
Painted blood upon my face, I gaze into the eyes of darkness, something else has taken hold, behind the
scene degraded, homunculus; time is slowly faded, to dreams unsettled, the one has now invaded.
Wondering founder, floundering confounder, lost in space drowner, no thyself, unknowable; invisible
hand around my neck. cry myself, I wait for death, shattered moons pass over head, no thyself too know
thyself, Cheshire grin; abated, the dragon was now integrated, blinding light now back to ground zero,
standing on the verge of the growing rift, ready and waiting. That was the deepest darkest, now dreaming
sleepless dreams, nightmare enduring, metamorphosis for what was this in the distance……..a child
becomes a man………the sanctums second son……

Verse 6
I gaze upon the sea of eyes, with a feeling I alone despise, conform conformed conformity, controlled
relayed atrocity. I stand in the crowd apart, never meeting another, unjoining the world, hollow, empty,
but not me. A drone in society, searching, searching, remember forgetting, purging, plagiarized life, un-
yearning. Time to wake up, infirming to take hold, I’m burning, take the next step, I’m hurting. My eyes
cast a shadow, devourers apprentice, senescence; mind of malice acceptance. look outward to see, no one
else like thy, troubled to be the only me of me, mystified; have I died, how inhuman I seem to be,
meaning, yet undefinable, described, and undeniable. Where have I gone, to have not a reflection, too far
passed the horizon, vanishing, point of inception? Smoldering embers, left to be found, past, present,
future of sorrow, beyond myself, into tomorrow. Left behind to find me again, an alternate verse, a childhood dream catcher, leaving the nightmare, raised from the ashes, a new form of power. Everything I
want to be, everything I’m not, staring at the inverted, flawless, refined, purpose, I’ve never found anyone
so perfect. For once I feel worth it, demonstrative; but victory always comes with a price, headhunter
bring your severed skull, he sit there smiling, reveling in false happiness. This is my prize, a villain in
disguise, the bearer of the worst of us, distending, out comes the ending, gruesome beheading, thump of
discontenting, expressionless face, nauseating. cruel fate, my face upon it, cannibals dinner party,
revolving tongue, unable to stop, consumed, no hands to cry, no legs to run, just me staring back at
myself, emotionless, just a head on a platter. Tears of blood rush down my face, unable to wipe them
away, pool of crimson spilling over, snapping me from this mirage of the unending desert. Now there
were three standing silent, the death head devourer…….Gluttony, the tormented headhunter………..Vincent
Helices, and me, what I’m told to be……….Spencer Pomphrey. the trinity of a human, this human, this
monster, that’s why I feel divided, everything I’ve created is shown to be false, a construct, a wireframe
twisted and tangled. after all this what’s left but the fall, to leap into the dark rift, the chasm of
infinity………the deepest darkest…………..time to rise again…………….Pestilence

Verse 7
Who am I, I once realized, the sickest, the menace, the disease. But these like most, have a limit, the
balancer, devil’s advocate, the player of faces. The masked guardian, the only decision made when you
are nothing but instinct. I am before what I’m told, the human, first and only, everything else just there to
control me. everything made just to hold me, lies that I despise, but created to console me, a face to a
name, spencer, created to be me, pestilence, created out of misery, Vincent, from my vanity, and gluttony,
because I can’t control me. I’m floating, grey smoke, eroding, all three evaporate; foreboding. Settling
silence, smell of blood, flashes of violence, whispers filled with malice, just a naked ghost, with no
identity. Crippling confusion, no more pain, I’m through with this, I feel it now, theirs only the two of us.
Departing, unclouded, what lay before, astounded, the dragon…..the sickest, the darkest, the terrifying.
Broken mirror, a shadow of the whole, and yet its power makes my ears ring. I see me, a side incomplete
without the whole, but dangerous without the fold, it speaks to me in quiet whispers, the words seeping in
like a virus, infecting, choking on my own blood, fading to the blackness, consumed. in the belly of the
beast, to see my sins, only the un-blinded can see, never forget, reoccurring theme, the pain I have left to
redeem, what is the price, the toll, the fee, struggling to breath, frantic suffocation, scarcity. Passing
phase, learn to die, lying frozen, listening to my beating heart, slowly creep to zero. Delicate falling, all
set now before me, one two three four, human created white noise, I the human, they the noise,
constructed, too replace me?, one is my mask, one is my hell, one is the alter, and one is unquenchable. all
are needed, but one must never be conceited, to falter, and lose one’s self, another could become, so the
mask must remain, in order to maintain, utopia; or dystopia, disorder, and disaster,

Verse 8
I look upon the dragons face, trying not to sufficate, stepping on my shadow. i am the shadow, eclipsing
my own life, darkness shining in the light, alone in the madness, feelings turned to sadness. dreaming in 2
dimensions, am i surprised they fall flat, eronious enchantment. from the dragons tongue, poison words
ozing, makes the world confusing, starting to see the bigger picture. black wings flying like a black sail,
pirating my thoughts, stolen purpose, my grand symphony, tyring to reach the stars, only reaching mars,
red desilation, waking nightmare. frankenstiens monster, picking up the pieces, stich me together a better
life, my corpse lay unbreathing, my heart keeps on beating. reanimate or born, trying to take living form,
zombifiyed, mumifyed, to crystalized, were running out of purpose. dragon eyes, i see the lies, a tital
wave of scarcity, cities writh in agony, just another travisty, shakspearian level tragidy. devouring the
casualty, devistation known globally, universe in the speculum, eyes wide open, like clock work, it breaks
you. rebuilding the empire, i am the rider, raining fire, then along came a spider, spin your web of desire.
just a figment, i imagine a nation, yet i stand alone, an island unto my own, david and goliath, on the war
path with deaf hand, immutable. raped you in the underbrish, trying to find the finer touch, cut your words
choking, now i see your mind opening, your unrecognisable, take a stab at the truth, brtual realization, i
dont remember waking. shiguri; single suicide, to double homicide, take the world with me, falling in the
abyss, bottomless pit of horrors, night of terror, unending spiral, uncontrolled desent into darkness, feel
like im floating. listen to the scilence, the sperpents siren song, calling, whispers that im dying,
necrophillia; fuck the body, i need transendance, failed experiment, waiting for the end, how fraught my memories are, torment eater, still starving, burning in my chest, just a pistol whiped complex. all this in a
glimse, a slice dripping, imagery forshadowing the revelation, chapter 1, the dragon left slumbering
awakens, within the trinity of vacancy, ariseing from the depths the new gods, pestilence, vincent,
gluttony, where do i fit in. always on the out side a shadow, of my former self, maybe i should forget me,
entirely, i cant satisfy my hunger, i cant be who i want to be, i cant know what i want to know. is starting
over the answer, zero hour, still falling, is it time to leave me behind……… cry your last tears of
pain……….before their all hidden in the rain….fearing what comes next……..always at my lowest point,
barried in my own mind, the innersanctum awaits…….but who sits upon the throne of three

Verse 9
” i sit upon the throne, knawing on these hollow bones, trying to find a meaning, ripping at my insides, i
hunger for change”. i see you standing there, spencer is it, falling thru your mind, digging up what was
never barried, what did you expect to find, a vacent throne, waiting, this occupant is displeasing, or
misleading. famine is what youll call me, it has already been desided, by…….you, your writing this right
now. when you close your eyes to shut out the world, i’ll be there, a poltergiest for a torchered soul.
you’ve found me, the hidden, faces change in the darkness, first is the mask, second is the master, third is
the truth, fourth is the hunger, and fifth is the revelation. spencer pestilence vincent gluttony famine,
personality trait or, the inception of lies. patience, omipresence, outlasting, a hummonculus, pulling the
strings of the puppet master. where is this going, nowhere…….thats the point, this is not the
time……..forget it…..

Verse 10
tears leaving promptly, a ghost still yet haunts me. time for true terror, the fear no one talks about, the fear
of losing control…..the fear of going to far. i scarsly remember, when i left that fear behind me, going to
far and losing control, what is control anyways. how far is too far, past the line theres nothing more.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Website Powered by

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: