Who am i…..
Am i lost, a wanderer cast out doomed to venture further and further into the wastes of a mind only comsumed by darkness.
To have such capacity for good, and yet so demonstratively brutal a vicious intent. towards hate and artfully disseminated machinations of destruction. I have touched down where others thought not possible, to fall down a bottomless pit only to prove wrong the will of man. To be insane and realize it, truth lies in reality, lying in wait to steal unkempt breaths. fearing time, though time does not exist, but in the mind, an idea, an abstraction, a custom of knowledge, the cadence of curtailed freedoms self expression. Systemic of its intention to breed more dishonest foreboding epitaphs of humanity’s hubris. I have nothing but contempt for the human species, this race of desiccation, greed and monotony. Crude and crueler fates align, eloquently baroque beauty of selfless inhibitions, over arching narratives bleed for bleeding sake. Forgetting the one fact that stakes claim to the heart of true providence, incredulity.
Master of wanting but master of none, narrow your vision, quiet discontentment. Grasp but one thing attainable, to use as steping stones to reach the next trial that awaits.
Who is this…who am i becoming now….
I plug my ears, listening to my heart beating, and yet i can’t feel it, until i think about feeling it. Such a limited mind we have, and we expect of ourselves, to know it all. how many kilobytes of useful knowledge do we possess in this zetabyte ad infinium system we call a mind. Most can’t even string together a few paragraphs worth let alone make a cohesively affective argument. So I guess it could be said I take my literary and standard intelligence for granted; then again I’ve structured a life that can be lived with such ease, an asured fate, that any lesser mind could lead it. so if i had my persistent cumulative intellectual growth halted or even reverted back to a time i still believed in fairy tales, would it really matter. Actually it might bring me some level of peace if thats what i wanted.
Though, what do I want, what is it I’m really after when all’s said and done. What I truly want is in the course of my routine self reflection, to for once, feel that i have something concrete i can offer. When you look under the veil of who i am in the world, this mask i present, you see a depth rarely legitimate in the eyes of this world. I keep relying on my own outdated ideals, to show nothing but let be discovered the real fathoms, the unbridled elation of finding, I am more than anyone thought possible. All this has never brought me happiness. I have only known misery in this life, because instead of the intended effect of discovery of hidden ability, it has only led me to becoming an expert at subversion. And in a world where most can’t see beyond a very narrow margin, I just seem as hollow as I allowed others to see me, as a being devoid of all things, never allowing anyone to discover that, which i have become master at cloaking…….

Neural pathway deactivation

Permanent inactivation of oversaturated neural pathways, leading to regressive damage in behavioral core synaptic networks. Relating to the mind state of anhedonia, though expressed in a more extreme context. The neurotic features, create a formless sensation, passing transcribed emotional coding into redundant structures. This mental apparatus, propagates a dissociative syndrome, fostering a suppressed status with short periods of psychotic outbursts. This neurodegenerative disorder, has potentially devastating and dangerous consequences if left to fester and grow. the oscillating current of suppressed and unsuppressed functions, could lead to a heightened potency of para psychological aspects of a subjects personality. Maintain vigilance and planning for worst case scenarios.

Decoding Entropy

Decoding entropy, the misguided existential question thats been plaguing humanity, since time in memorium, has been as such, thusly explained through our insatiable curious need, and desire to know where we came from. At first, in the dawning of our sapien species, we began an almost instinctual process, of divining meanings behind the waking world, fixated on a relativistic methodology of categorizing, that which our senses provided only infinitesimal instances of articulable realizations. Though, in time, our understanding over these secret mechanisms precluding higher agency, would be elucidated. A furtherance of hope was lost, for the knowledge gained hadn’t changed the conspicuously absent absolution of civilizations greatest of quandaries. The religious interpretation attempts to rationalize the intrinsic significance of the universal landscape, putting forth a poly or monotheistic version of all existence, placing a God figure manipulating the entirety of creation, a top the hierarchy of cosmological structures. Still, this answer doesn’t provide us with clear evidence or help in truly delving to the fathomless depths of the predecessent primordial universe. As such, the secular interpretations do sit in stark contrast to the theological hypotheses, with its extrinsic properties revealing many truths along the continuum scale of the micro/macroscopic spectrum, attributed to the methodically evidentiary basis, in which, scientific principles and experimental techniques are rooted in. Though, quantum theory has brought ingeniously astringent results, placing the observable mind on the precipice of the ancient universe, so to has its energetic machinations lingered for far too long, incrementally discovering only slivers of information, leading to the theological constructions of endpoint equational resolution, also being expressed in the scientific literature, blurring the lines of both religious and secular types of reasoning. Which brings me to the main topic, decoding entropy. Gods, quantum fields, souls, particles, heaven&hell, dark energy&matter, what do they all have in common? They are all, elementary focal points of a larger, underlying superstructure, of the world we see around us. These, markers of entropy, could be the keys to developing a algorithmic solution, to decoding entropic accretion, revealing the prime components of our reality. To begin, a multilayered source vector analysis, of associative precursion links between matrices, along the holographic horizon, providing exculpatory evidence of derived impressionistic values, beyond current exploratory methods, must take place. Though, viewing principles of modern science and faith so Antidisestablishmentarianistically, is necessary for deciphering beyond the codexis of these simultaneously existing archetypal concepts, to escape their intrinsic and extrinsic influence over helically modelled neurological functioning, as each are an expression of collective organic somatic clustering, produced over billions of years. As such, moving apart from biologically synthesized harvesting of the quattrouvirgintillion bits of data stored in the hegemonicly recursive hierarchical predimentional statuses, could provide the first foot well, on the journey up the mountain, of total equational defragmentation, consequently illuminating laylines, of extracorporeal formation, finally answering, the oldest and most fundamental of questions.

Why are we here?


I feel a hollowing of my aspects. A vampiric syphoning, bleeding me away from who I am. A concept of calamity, such a staunchly creeping apathy. Where have I collected I wondered, in these pools of settings sundered. Vision breaks at the horizons terminal condition. To vanish as all things do, passed the point of no returning. Time moves quickly when your alone, it runs like a casted shadow forced to flee the passing of the light. The only voice echoes it’s own reflection, a crowded place of mass deception. Am I Being hastened to meet some frightful finality, but by who or what?. The angels and demons the analogous machinations devised to explain away the mysteries of life’s cruelly fair yet cunning nature. As I still have a mind to bare witness, i ask to lessen me only if it will quite my sweet suffering. To not see this world as I do may be a blessing in these future trials. Though I can’t help but feel such scarcity wet my cheeks. I have me for the first time, since that dark age still lingering in my memory, unclasped its brutal grips. This homunculus in the recesses of my mind waiting to see without its guidance, what I’ll do. Is it me or is it you that lays claim to this life. Or have you always been waiting for me to say, I do?.

The Line

am i alive?????
i think their for i am, i feel emotion, i have a life cycle, i make decisions, but do these things really
constitute a living, fully conscious mind, or are they but cogs in the grand equation, the grand process we call the universe. where is that divide if their is one, between the true conscious observer and the fixed
consicous observed. if all is determined then how can we be alive, how can we claim superiority in the
debate of living vs synthetic if we to perform within a framework we too cannot escape from, a path
predetermined…preprogrammed. but i have not yet been in a circumstance where i could truly discover
if their is a difference between organic and machine in terms of being alive because our current level of
technology is insufficient. as such my mind does yet ponder the possibility that a created being could feel
present or absent, from the priority or hierachy of consicous minds in which i am alert to, vigilant of agent minds i do feel a fear of sorts towards them. but would this flaw of my nature transfer to the machine simulators which would lead me to hold them to the same standard as all other human level or above creatures, if such beings did exist. but the nagging question at the tip of my toungue is would this truly transpire or would they feel as alive as a dog or plant or smart phone, its not to say animals or plants are
not living but it is to say that those living creatures do not meet the standard of being consious in a way i understand fully giving me freedom to express myself as expected of a empty room, their agency is
minimal and conscious intelligence non reciprocal in nature.
is it that reciprocal nature the key to feeling a thing as a being. a dog is a thing in which we place our
feelings and focus on building up a heightened level of counsciousness that isn’t present, but to an outside observer thay still appear a simple form of life no where near human status. But if something is created to
simulate and or emulate us. how do you differentiate what is real and fake if all we really are aswell is a
system acting in acordance with predetermined states leading to new eventualities, if you could get a
readout of your mind as it happened showing the entirety of your thoughts and you could perceive the
paths your mind weaves to simulate personality and understanding, how could you say we’re different.
even if we have more connections and more information flowing through those connections does that
constitute a valid reason to suggest we are alive and if its just a matter of degree, what happens if the
oppose were true, would we succeed the point to them being alive instead of us, i doubt it, we would claim life fits on a specrtum the moment our superiority was challanged. the more i think and the more
stories i watch and information i accrue, their are many things in which are eerily the same and
maybe it is just hubris but their must be something were missing when we think about consciousness,
something that can show as definitive proof we are or aren’t alive. and maybe one day machines will
be alive but….as i close…
where is the line between the living….and the dead…..?

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